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What If Everything You Knew About Disciplining Kids Was Wrong?

Negative consequences, timeouts, and punishment just make bad behavior worse. But a new approach really works.

This article was published by Mother Jones on Tuesday, July 7, 2015.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

LEIGH ROBINSON WAS out for a lunchtime walk one brisk day during the spring of 2013 when a call came from the principal at her school. Will, a third-grader with a history of acting up in class, was flipping out on the playground. He'd taken off his belt and was flailing it around and grunting. The recess staff was worried he might hurt someone. Robinson, who was Will's educational aide, raced back to the schoolyard.

Will was "that kid." Every school has a few of them: that kid who's always getting into trouble, if not causing it. That kid who can't stay in his seat and has angry outbursts and can make a teacher's life hell. That kid the other kids blame for a recess tussle. Will knew he was that kid too. Ever since first grade, he'd been coming to school anxious, defensive, and braced for the next confrontation with a classmate or teacher.

The expression "school-to-prison pipeline" was coined to describe how America's public schools fail kids like Will. A first-grader whose unruly behavior goes uncorrected can become the fifth-grader with multiple suspensions, the eighth-grader who self-medicates, the high school dropout, and the 17-year-old convict. Yet even though today's teachers are trained to be sensitive to "social-emotional development" and schools are committed to mainstreaming children with cognitive or developmental issues into regular classrooms, those advances in psychology often go out the window once a difficult kid starts acting out. Teachers and administrators still rely overwhelmingly on outdated systems of reward and punishment, using everything from red-yellow-green cards, behavior charts, and prizes to suspensions and expulsions.

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Coming to a workplace near you: Fines for being fat?

When it comes to obesity -- a stubborn condition that the sharpest medical minds can't reliably treat -- is it fair to penalize an employee for staying heavy?

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Monday, April 15, 2013.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis FORTUNE -- CVS Caremark (CVS) recently made headlines for rolling out a $600 penalty on workers who fail to report biometric data such as weight, body fat, blood sugar, and cholesterol in an annual screening. The controversial move is likely just the start of a new wave of workplace programs that aim to encourage healthier employee behavior through targeted incentives.

"You're going to see over the next three to five years lots of employers rewarding employees for successfully improving their health risk," says Jim Winkler, chief innovation officer for HR consultancy AON Hewitt, which found that 58% of the nearly 800 employers it surveyed plan to penalize workers who fail to take appropriate actions to improve their health.

Companies are expanding their wellness programs in the face of climbing health insurance costs, which in 2013 are expected to reach an average of $11,188 per employee, up from $7,874 in 2007, according to AON Hewitt. And many are switching from solely offering carrots -- rewards for making healthy choices -- to include sticks.

Of the $2.7 trillion spent each year on health care, about 50% to 60% relates to conditions that could be improved through changes in diet, exercise, and stress management, says Adam Bosworth, co-founder of online wellness company Keas and former head of Google Health.

The recently passed Affordable Care Act clarified employers' ability to financially penalize employees for unhealthy behavior. The act raised the allowed penalty, or reward, to 30% of health care premiums, from 20%. The federal health care reform package also cast a spotlight on the effectiveness of using payments and fines to influence employees' behavior -- regardless of whether they are weighted more on punishment or rewards.

"These programs, when it comes to obesity and weight management, are simply not very effective. All the studies have shown a very marginal weight loss over 12 months," says Morgan Downey, editor and publisher of The Downey Obesity Report, which covers science and public policy on obesity. "The best scientists and clinicians in the world have trouble getting these conditions under control. Why do we think HR can do it?" 

Making It Work: Special Report on Hourly Workers

Predictable schedules, paid time off and health insurance help these companies hold on to their valuable nonexempt workers.

This article was originally published by Working Mother in April 2013.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

When DeAna Jimenez’s 6-year-old daughter, Serenity, caught the flu and whooping cough last December, DeAna, 38, stayed home with her, missing out on four days of pay and bonuses in the lucrative pre-Christmas period. “I easily lost out on $250,” recalls the single mom, who works full-time as a store team leader at a specialty foods company in Denver but receives no paid leave. “That’s a light bill; it’s a week’s worth of groceries.”

At least she didn’t lose her job—a result that isn’t uncommon among hourly-working moms forced to choose between their families and their work. Such stories are familiar to Linda Meric, executive director of 9to5, National Association of Working Women, a grassroots advocacy group for low-income women. “Especially in these tough economic times, no worker can afford to lose pay or a job because they have to care for their own or a family member’s health,” Meric says. “And yet there are far too many hourly workers who are faced with exactly that dilemma. The ways in which some employers cheat and mistreat their workers are numerous and varied.”

From erratic scheduling and low wages to no health insurance or paid time off, the nonsalaried employees who help us at the fast-food restaurant, store or hospital too often face the toughest work life challenges. That’s why Working Mother honors the 2013 Best Companies for Hourly Workers, which have found solutions to these problems and strive to provide opportunities for nonexempt employees to advance into salaried and management roles. These 12 Best Companies have been judged on more than 300 questions, ranging from benefits and training to flexibility and paid time off, and include retailers, hospitals and manufacturers. These varied employers have one thing in common: All know that treating hourly workers right is not only the right thing to do, it’s also good for business—a positive culture is a competitive advantage in an economy that increasingly requires highly trained workers at all levels.

Planning Ahead

One of the most basic stress points for hourly workers is their weekly, or even daily, schedule. While many salaried working mothers long for flexible weeks or reduced hours, hourly-working moms wish for more predictable schedules that include enough work time to pay for their families’ needs. The retail and restaurant industries, in particular, have been known to ramp employees’ hours up and down, often at the last minute, as sophisticated staffing software gets better at predicting the minute-to-minute demand for smoothies or buy-one-get-one-free apparel.

Supporting Your Teen's First Love

This article was originally published by Washington Parent in April 2013.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

Suddenly, your 13-year-old son is getting phone calls, texts and even in-person visits from giggling teen girls. Or perhaps your 15-year-old daughter picks out a scandalously short skirt for the big party her friend is planning. Or your 12-year-old daughter announces over dinner that she's got a boyfriend now.

Prenatal baby classes never prepared you for this! Parents often freeze when it comes to topics related to love and sexuality. But your children need parental guidance here just as in any other arena of life.

"Your child is going to get a sex education and be sexually active; the only question is with whom and when," says Amy Miron, co-author with her husband, Charles Miron, of How to Talk with Teens About Love, Relationships, & S-E-X. "If you believe that sexual behavior should only occur in an emotionally committed relationship, you need to communicate that. . . . Inoculate your kids with your values."

Don't Lecture

But don't jump into lecture mode. Nothing closes a teenager's ears like a parent dumping a load of information, morals and instructions all at once. Instead, share your feelings and relevant factual information, and then listen while your child responds.

"It should be a dialogue, not a monologue," says Miron, a Baltimore-based sex therapist and educator certified by the American Association of Sexuality. "Listen to your teen and don't be horrified if your teen says something that's 180 degrees the opposite."

Marissa Mayer's brief maternity leave: Progress or workaholism?

Could the Yahoo CEO be setting unrealistic expectations for young women hoping to follow in her footsteps?

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer will likely have the most scrutinized maternity leave and new motherhood in modern corporate history, which began on Sunday night with the birth of a healthy baby boy.

Mayer courted controversy by deciding to take just a week or two of leave and work from home throughout that time.

On one hand, it's a remarkable sign of gender progress that a new mother is now at the helm of a major corporation -- not to mention reassuring to Yahoo (YHOO) shareholders that the CEO's top priority is turning around the struggling Internet giant.

On the other hand, her decision seems emblematic of a workaholic culture that leaves too little time for family or even personal health, preventing either men or women from "having it all."

Could Mayer be setting unrealistic expectations for young women hoping to follow in her footsteps?

Maybe she's an outlier -- or making a mistake -- and shouldn't be held up as an example that mere mortals should emulate.

"She conveys the image of someone who's perfectly capable of combining her personal life and her public responsibilities without one derailing the other. That's a message we should applaud," says Kathleen Gerson, professor at New York University and author of The Unfinished Revolution: Coming of Age in a New Era of Gender, Work and Family. "It also suggests that somehow it's illegitimate for women -- and by implication for men as well -- to take some time off at critical moments in their own lives and the lives of their children. To that extent, it's a backward-looking message."

It's difficult to judge whether Mayer's abbreviated maternity leave plan will make it harder or easier for the millions of executive women who will follow her, certainly at this early stage. But there are three indisputable lessons that can be drawn from her situation.

Read the full article at Fortune.com.

4 cardinal sins of work communication

With the variety of communication methods available, it's easy to grow frustrated by annoying associates or clueless clients. It's also easy to find yourself becoming a pest.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Thursday, July 19, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- Everybody knows a communications outlaw. Maybe it's the colleague who sends you three emails in the space of an hour, each with partially formed ideas about a project. Or the conference call host who lets the conversation ramble, without any thought of an agenda.

With the variety of communication methods available, it's easy to grow frustrated by annoying associates or clueless clients. But is it possible that your own behavior is bugging someone else?

Back to Work

This article was originally published by Bloomberg Businessweek on Thursday, May 31, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

Unemployment is a closely watched statistic, and for 12.5 million Americans, a humbling reality. The percentage of people out of work peaked at 10 percent in October 2009, and while the rate hovers stubbornly at 8.2 percent, at least some of the long-term unemployed are beginning to find permanent jobs.

This spring, Bloomberg Businessweek assigned photographers to follow several people as they returned to the workplace after absences ranging from seven months to three and a half years. Each story is unique, yet there are common themes: feelings of uselessness, the disturbing ease with which one’s professional identity slips away, the humiliation of asking family or friends for a loan, and, finally, the rewards of adaptability and persistence.

Read the full article in Bloomberg Businessweek.

Recent college grads: They're not so bad at work

Employers that regularly hire workers in their early 20s find them to be just as diligent and competent as their generational predecessors.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Thursday, June 7, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- As waves of new college graduates flood into work­places, you may be bracing yourself for an onslaught of entitled youngsters who expect to be hand-held during training. After all, Millennials are the only generation that doesn't list "work ethic" as a defining trait, according to the Pew Research Center. Indeed, 75% of those Pew polled said that older people have a stronger work ethic than young adults.

But take heart, managers of America. Employers that regularly hire workers in their early 20s find them to be just as diligent and competent as previous generations. This year's crop of graduates, after all, entered college just as the worst recession since the 1930s took hold, so they're likely grateful simply to have a job -- and willing to work hard to keep it. Keep an open mind, and you may find that this year's recent grads defy the well-worn stereotype that Gen-Y'ers are all ambition and little else. In fact, these new arrivals can contribute plenty to your workplace.

K Street

This article was published by GQ China in June 2012.

To read the full article in Chinese, visit my Flickr site. If I get an English translation, I will post it also.

After Yahoo: Why do powerful people lie?

Why do leaders risk so much over what, in the grand scheme of things, is a small dishonesty?

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Wednesday, May 16, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- In the wake of Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson's departure amid controversy over his padded resume, the question remains: why did he do it?

Whether Thompson embellished his bio with a college major he didn't earn, or simply signed his name to a document that someone else falsified, the lie cost him a flourishing career. It also added him to an ignominious list of powerful leaders who stepped down in disgrace over resume deceptions, including former RadioShack (RSH) CEO Dave Edmondson and Notre Dame head football coach George O'Leary.

Why do they do it? Why do they risk so much over what, in the grand scheme of things, is a small dishonesty?

What's hiding behind the buzzwords in job ads?

You've heard the job ad jargon so often, your eyes glaze over: detail-oriented, fast-paced work environment, team player. But these well-worn phrases can expose the dirty little secrets of your potential future employer.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- Read enough help-wanted advertisements, and you'll soon realize that they all basically sound the same. Jargon like "detail-oriented" and "self-starter" is so overused that the positions advertised begin to sound unremarkable: part of the expected landscape of hunting for a job.
But if you stop and think about what all of these buzzwords are signaling, you'll realize how much information you just might miss if you fail to read between the lines. First of all, when employers fall back on the same old jargon to advertise positions, it could very well be that they actually have no idea what they are looking for. They just know they have a spot to fill.
"Jargon is our way to grow lazier decision making in corporate cultures," says Kevin Fleming, owner of Grey Matters, a neuroscience-based executive development and coaching firm based in Jackson Hole and Tulsa. "We use these words to cover up something. It could also be a way to hide some ambivalence."

What can you buy for $300,000? Vacation homes to escape from the Beltway

This article was originally published by the Washington Post on Wednesday, February 22, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

Interest rates are still at historic lows. Real estate prices remain depressed in many areas. As you look forward to summer, you may be wondering whether this would be an opportune time to get a bargain on a vacation property that you could enjoy with your family while earning some rental income.

To answer that question, we looked at popular vacation destinations within a reasonable drive of Washington, D.C., to see what kind of escape from the Beltway you could purchase for $300,000. In some areas, sellers are stubbornly hoping that the market will rebound enough to reap the high prices they’ve set for their beach and mountain homes. In others, lower rental volumes and the tough economy have left property owners with limited resources for fixing up properties enough to make them irresistible to prospective buyers.

Career resolutions: How to negotiate a raise

Before you go into your boss's office demanding more money, take the time to lay the groundwork for a successful conversation.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Thursday, Jan. 5, 2012.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- As you set career goals for 2012, a raise might be on your list. After all, the economy is slowly recovering, unemployment is ticking down and your employer is likely in a better financial position than in the last year or three.

But before you go into your boss's office demanding more money, take the time to lay the groundwork for a successful conversation. This means researching the typical compensation and salary path for your industry, company, and job position. Most important, understand exactly what results your boss expects of you, so you can demonstrate that you've exceeded them.

Why Some Business Owners Think Now Is the Time to Sell

This article was originally published by the New York Times on Wed., Dec. 21, 2011.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

Looking back, Cyndi Finkle wishes she had sold her craft services company, Sunday Night Dinner, early in 2008 when the economy was booming. With a track record of 30 to 50 percent annual growth for each of the previous five years, it could have been a compelling transaction.

At the time, however, she was not emotionally ready to part with a business she had started in 1997 and built into one of the largest suppliers of services to television crews and casts in Los Angeles. When her husband suggested selling, “I burst into tears and looked at him as if he were telling me to cut off my arm,” Ms. Finkle said. “Then everything changed, and I realized he was right.”

But the recession hit, and Ms. Finkle’s annual revenue dropped sharply along with declining television advertising and production budgets — making it impossible for her to sell. “I’ve had to work really hard the last three years to save my company and get it back, a lot of times working for free,” she said. “It was no longer about building it, it was about keeping it going until things got better.”

When working from home just doesn't work

There's no denying that working remotely provides tremendous benefits, but more organizations are finding that virtual collaboration also comes with significant limitations.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Monday, Dec. 19, 2011.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE – Once a year, leaders of Community Options come together from its 35 locations for a retreat. The nonprofit organization runs a variety of entrepreneurial ventures that create job opportunities and provide housing for people with disabilities.

At the most recent summit, the chief financial officer was bemoaning the wasted flowers at the organization's New Brunswick, N.J. floral store, due to the inevitable difficulty in managing inventory to meet customer orders.

Listening in, a graphic designer from Community Options' Daily Plan It, which rents shared office space and provides support services such as document shredding, thought they could use the dead, unsold flowers to create potpourri. As a result, Community Options is now launching a line of potpourri, which will be packaged and sold by people with disabilities.

"It's all because a group of people got together and came up with this idea," says Robert Stack, founder and chief executive of Princeton, N.J.-based Community Options. "People play off each other."

How to groom Gen Y to take the company reins

Start talking about younger workers, and pretty soon the word "entitled" comes up. But several companies have started programs to help the younger set learn the corporate ropes.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Thursday, Dec. 1, 2011.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- If you want to liven up a group of senior managers, raise the topic of the youngest employees in the workforce. Suddenly, the conversation turns animated, with strong opinions on everything from their flip-flops to their conversational style. "They are always multitasking," managers complain. "And why do they need so much feedback? Can't they just figure it out?"

Sooner or later, the word "entitled" is bound to come up, as executives compare the way they behaved as new workers with the attitudes of the Millennial Generation, those employees born between 1978 and 2000, says Lauren Stiller Rikleen, an inter-generational consultant and author of a new report on Millennial leadership for the Boston College Center for Work and Family.

Volcker rule: Why it matters to consumers

This article was originally published by Bankrate.com on Friday November 11, 2011.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis • Bankrate.com

Federal regulators in early October proposed new regulations aimed at stopping banks from trading for their own profit.

The so-called Volcker rule, named after former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker, is part of last year's Dodd-Frank Act, the sweeping financial reform law approved by Congress last year.

While high finance and hedge fund investments may seem far removed from your everyday life, consumer advocates and analysts say the stakes for the new law are high. Ultimately, the outcome matters to your pocketbook. Already, JPMorgan Chase & Co., Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley have closed or announced plans to shut down their proprietary trading divisions in anticipation of those activities being banned.

With the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency accepting comments on the proposal through Jan. 13, 2012, here's your chance to weigh in on guidelines for the U.S. financial system. The Volcker rule could affect your financial life in several ways.

Promoting bank stability

The overriding aim of the Volcker rule is to promote stability in the banking system and help to prevent a repeat of the financial crisis in 2008. The near-collapse of Lehman Brothers and American International Group, or AIG, prompted Congress to pass an unprecedented $700 billion government bailout in 2008.

How flexible work actually works

Imagine unlimited paid vacation and sick leave, with no mandated office hours. Chaos, right? Not according to a handful of award-winning employers profiled in a new report on effective workplaces.

This article was originally published by Fortune.com on Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2011.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis, contributor

FORTUNE -- At MeetingMatrix International, a communications firm based in Portsmouth, N.H., employees have no defined work schedules, unlimited paid time off, and meetings are optional. How do they ever get any work done? That's actually the only thing that matters: results.

MeetingMatrix executives point to longer customer support hours, increased sales during a down economy, and 100% retention as evidence that their focus on the end results -- and not hours in the office -- works.

"When you start treating people like adults, they start acting like it," says the company's CEO Jmichaele Keller, who in 2008 shelved his company's employee monitoring systems in favor of a more flexible approach. Under the new regime, "people have a lot of ability to shape what is going on in their world and not a lot of micromanaging.... There really is no direct tie in an office environment between the amount of time spent and the productivity of that individual."

D.C. area housing market feels the pinch from lower jumbo mortgage limits

This article was first published on Saturday, November 5, by the Washington Post.

By Katherine Reynolds Lewis

Srinivasan Soundararajan and Jennifer Nordin have been thinking about selling their Potomac townhouse and moving into a detached house for some time. With two small children, 1 and 3 years old, they are beginning to outgrow their three-bedroom house.

This past summer, the couple stayed out of the market because of Congress’s gridlock over the U.S. debt ceiling; they feared that a spike in interest rates could disrupt a pending house purchase. Once lawmakers agreed to raise the ceiling, they started looking at houses again.

Now that they’re close to making an offer on a property, a change in federal housing policy has hampered their plans.

On Oct. 1, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac lowered the maximum size of so-called jumbo mortgages that they would back to $625,500. Before Oct. 1, Washington-area mortgages as big as $729,750 could be purchased by Fannie and Freddie and repackaged to sell to bond investors, or guaranteed by the Federal Housing Administration. The change was the result of a law Congress passed in 2008 to stimulate the housing market in the depths of the crisis.

As a result, the upper end of the Washington real estate market is feeling the pain as buyers have fewer options to finance the purchase of a house. And sellers, like Soundararajan and Nordin, feel the change constrains the pool of potential buyers for their townhouse, which they expect to list at $725,000.

“It would definitely affect the ability of someone to buy our house,” said Soundararajan, a 43-year-old attorney, noting that his sale price equals the new cap plus a down payment of $100,000. “That’s not a first-time buyer. We’re going to lose that market.”